The Beep *May* Comeback
The Not-So-Daily Beep (Since changing names is in fashion..)
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Date: 30/4
* President Bush said he and Vice President Dick Cheney answered every question on Thursday from the panel investigating the Sept. 11 attacks and denied their joint appearance was aimed at keeping their story straight.
In comments afterward in the White House Rose Garden, Bush declared the extraordinary, three-hour-and-10-minute session a success that he hoped would lead to recommendations about how to guard against future attacks because "we are still vulnerable to attack
And for a change, this three hour ten minute session had more than one question and answer… it was not like the panel asked Dubya one question and he took hours to answer…. With Ummmmm Hmmmmm Errrrrrr for punctuations!
* A policeman guarding Britain's embassy in Berlin has been suspended after he gave a fellow officer the stiff-armed Hitler salute at the start of his shift.
The 42-year-old is under investigation for making the outlawed salute and subsequent Nazi greeting, believed to be either "Sieg Heil" or "Heil Hitler." He could face prosecution for the use of illegal symbols, a police spokesman said on Thursday
One line that could save him… “I see dead people”.. or maybe “I was testing my new deodorant and it smelt so bad, I couldn’t help but remember Hitler – coz he stinks…”
* The Lagos transport chief said 608 Nigerian motorists were tested for insanity after they were caught driving against the flow of traffic on city streets. Muiz Banire said the 608 were selected from 22,418 people whose vehicles were impounded last year for various traffic offences.
"One person was found to be insane, while 20 people were found to have very low intelligent quota, which connotes they were not fit to drive cars along Lagos roads," Banire was quoted as saying in Wednesday's Punch newspaper
With this, I don't think Morgan Freeman will ever agree to appear in a sequel to Driving Miss Daisy.. Anyway, wouldn’t a simpler solution in a logical order be eye tests, to begin with – and then maybe test them for sanity or the lack thereof? Now the UN knows where all the development fund monies are going… this calls for free IQ tests for the traffic cops!
Date: 22/4 to 29/4/4 - We-juvenate Break
Date: 20/4 and 21/4/4
* Brad Pitt said on Tuesday he reluctantly quit smoking for months of intense physical training to prepare for his role as Greek hero Achilles in the film "Troy" but admitted he was now glad he kicked the habit.
In an interview with the German magazine "Cinema" before the May release of the film in the United States and Germany, Pitt said he spent many unpleasant months working out with a fitness trainer to build up muscles to play the legendary warrior. "I had to quit smoking," Pitt said when asked about the hardest part of getting ready for the film about the Trojan war. "I'm now happy about it because these things were killing me. But at first I was really missing my cigarettes…”
Insiders in the industry say that the same producer is also planning to get Oprah off her Pepperoni pizza addiction.. they are making her play Mary Poppins or something like that… and since Oprah gets back to her eating ways often, there will be Mary Poppins 2 and so on... :p
* Pop star Michael Jackson's brother, Jermaine, in the Gulf to promote understanding between Muslims and his fellow Americans, said Tuesday that Muslims are "the new Negroes in America." Jermaine, a convert to Islam and dressed in white Arab garb, has been speaking about Islam and U.S. "adventures" in Iraq to enthusiastic audiences at Koranic centers and universities in the Gulf Arab state of Bahrain.
"I think Muslims have become the new Negroes in America. They are being mistreated at airports, by the Immigration - everywhere," he said.
However, he could not confirm whether similar treatment was being meted to Muslims in libraries, schools, universities, office hours etc…. he hasn’t been near a place that's known for education, for ages now…
* Forty-five years in the making and 24 hours late, NASA launched a $700 million satellite into orbit on Tuesday to test Albert Einstein's general theory of relativity.
The Gravity Probe B, one of the most precise scientific instruments every built, was carried aloft by a Boeing Co. Delta 2 at 12:57 p.m. EDT from the rocket range at California's Vandenberg Air Force Base.
A day earlier, launch directors from Boeing and NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida scrubbed the launch in the final minutes of the countdown when there was a problem loading software.
NASA is into paying tributes to, and remembering, scientists from the past lately.. In fact someone said that the not taking off, of the Delta 2 was a tribute to Newton, and his law of gravity.. the forces of gravity and the refusal of the plane to budge...
* A usual spring slowdown in the overseas market, especially in Europe, is expected to shift gears this coming weekend with the start of Japan's Golden Week holiday and the arrival of "Kill Bill-Vol. 2" in several key European and Pacific Rim territories.
For the most part, new titles entering the market over the weekend failed to make firm impressions, but holdovers "The Passion of the Christ" and "Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed " -- by dint of a large number of dates and screens -- were the leaders again.
Kill Bill 2 seems to have overtaken “The Passion Of Christ”.. the latter seems to be waiting for ‘the second coming’… And by the way, though the HIV scare in the porn industry is causing porn movies to be scrapped, the title for the Scooby Doo sequel was not borrowed from a X-flick…..
* An Algerian-born Muslim prayer leader in France faces legal action after he defended the stoning and beating of adulterous wives in a magazine interview, French Justice Minister Dominique Perben said Tuesday.
Abdelkader Bouziane, 52, imam of a mosque in the Lyon suburb of Venissieux in eastern France, told the monthly Lyon Mag that the Koran allowed husbands to beat unfaithful spouses as long as they did not strike them on the face.
Hmmmm the fella has given an entirely different and new meaning to the “If someone slaps you on the cheek, turn the *other cheek*”
* Having skin-to-skin contact with mom immediately after birth may help to ease a newborn's arrival into the world, according to a new study.
Known as "kangaroo care," such skin-to-skin contact is believed to give babies a sense of security that provides a buffer against the bombardment of sensory stimuli around them.
Funny how the movie world operates with the same rules.. for any newcomer into the industry, a skin-to-skin contact with the mother-hen in this case the producer, would ensure an easier arrival into tinseltown..
* A Sydney woman demanded an explanation Tuesday from a hospital where a pair of scissors were left in her abdomen after surgery and said she planned to sue.
Pat Skinner, 69, had part of her colon removed at Sydney's St. George Hospital in May 2001. But she said that she continued to suffer intense pain in her abdomen for months after the operation.
Eventually, she demanded doctors x-ray her abdomen. They did and discovered the 6.7-inch pair of scissors, which were removed in October 2002.
Indian doctors are hardly perturbed or affected by this story. In fact this has happened so many times in Indian hospitals that the doctors are actually doing research to find out how to keep the scissor sterilized inside the body, for future use…
* It's flying... a new slogan for a alcoholic beverage. But methinks this would have been more appropriate for one of the domestic airlines whose planes rarely seem to take to the clouds without a hitch....
Date: 18/4 and 19/4/4
* Arnold Schwarzenegger has pledged to boost California's ailing economy the way he knows how – through showbiz. The movie star said he wanted to double the 250,000 entertainment jobs in the state, which is crippled by huge debts. And to help he has appointed five of his closest buddies, including Danny DeVito and Clint Eastwood, to the California Film Commission. Speaking in the state capital Sacramento, the Republican said: "For me, the entertainment business is very dear and close to my heart, and as you all know, I would not be standing here if it were not for the entertainment business. But what we have experienced over the last few years is a huge exodus of production, which has been going outside the state and the country, and because of that, we have been losing jobs and been losing a tremendous amount of money."
It looks like a nice first step to thank the industry that made him what he is today. But if Arnie starts to make movies, he will surely kill the economy.. Film critics will lose their jobs.. they will be fired, because judging and critiquing his films is a no-brainer...
* David Beckham has splashed out £1 million on a pink diamond ring as a present for Posh's 30th birthday, according to the Brit tabloid, The Sun….
Right now, the ring is being classified as a gift, a present…soon it may evolve to be a part of alimony, since Posh Spice is secretly contemplating legal action…
* Red-nosed Rudolph and red faced employees – that’s what Santa Park in Helsinki, Finland is facing. The last three worker elves at Father Christmas's official headquarters in Finland's Arctic have been fired as Santa Park grapples with its finances.
Wille Rajala, the park's fourth director since it opened in 1998, said "The person who has been called the head elf... still works for Santa Park." Lack of visitors has meant that the number of Santa's little helpers is now down to two, a far cry from plans to employ 120 staff on a monthly wage when the park opened.
And well, all you opportunistic BPO-kinds, these services not going to be outsourced from India.. so CHILLL for now!
* Four percent of Dutch male doctors have admitted having sexual contact with one or more patients, a survey published on Saturday showed. The survey of about a 1000 family doctors conducted by Peter Leusink in 2002 was published in the Dutch Journal of Medicine.
Citing Leusink's results, the Algemeen Dagblad daily said 4.3 percent of male doctors surveyed and 0.8 percent of female doctors had admitted sexual contact with patients, in most cases with one patient, but in a third of cases with two or three. "We are not just talking about one-off incidents but a structural problem which must be directly addressed. The consequences for the patient are very damaging," Leusink, himself a family doctor, told the newspaper
The consequences can of course be damaging – you pay the doctors their fees, and then get laid? Glorified gigolos, these men in white! Now these must be the doctors who also said in the study that they know to mix work and pleasure and also, don’t hesitate to bring work home..
* Jennifer Lopez shocked TV audiences when she revealed her favourite swear word. The bootylicious actress revealed that she used "****ing **ore" all the time on America's TV show Inside the Actor's Studio despite the fact her mum was sitting in the front row…
Now that language.. hmm she is true to her song lyrics.. That’s the way (she's still) Jenny from the block spoke when she was a gal from the ‘hood!
* A Moscow court yesterday threw out a £550,000 compensation claim from a ballerina who was fired by the Bolshoi Theatre for being too heavy and cumbersome for the male dancers to lift. The ballerina confessed to a liking for ice cream but insisted that her professional standards had not dropped.
Life is gonna be one Rocky Road for her….
Date: 16/4 and 17/4/4
* The head of the CIA never informed a vacationing President Bush in August 2001 that a suspected Islamic extremist had been detected taking flight lessons, the panel investigating the Sept. 11 jetliner attacks on New York and Washington heard on Wednesday.
Commissioner Tim Roemer, asked Tenet if he had ever mentioned to Bush the arrest of Zacarias Moussaoui in mid-August 2001 after he had been detected behaving suspiciously in a Minnesota flight school. After Moussaoui's arrest, Tenet and other top CIA officials received a briefing headed, "Islamic Extremist Learns to Fly."
"Islamic Extremist Learns To Fly"?????…What kinda warning is that? Whoever wrote those words needs serious training in writing! Given Dubya’s *ability* to read between the lines, he must have reacted by saying “Why have they sent this to me? Send this to the employment bureau and give this man a job! I’m happy that the minorities are also learning to fly…I wish to encourage the Mexicans crossing the border to learn to fly planes so they can fly across the border and not jump the barb-wire fences!” :P
* A home video shows what one woman claims happened to her at Disney World, that a man dressed in a Tigger costume became a little too friendly. The woman in that video told a tv channel she realized what happened after seeing reports of one suspect's arrest.
With all of the laughs and smiles and picture-perfect moments at Disney's Toon Town exhibit, it's easy to get caught up in the moment. That's just what happened to a Vero Beach woman vacationing with her family.
She declined to talk on camera, but told her husband, who was shooting the home video, that she thought it was him when someone approached her from behind, reached around and grabbed her breast. But from the video, you can see it was actually someone in character as Tigger.
Now I just wish to quote a song called the Tigger Song – and since the tigger is such an animal that fiercely guards its territory… I leave it to you, for once, to form your own conclusions...
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers,
is Tiggers are wonderful things.
Their tops are made out of rubber,
their bottoms are made out of springs.
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
By the way, I think it was nice of Tigger not to defend himself by saying that he was Finding Nemo or something like that… And Disney will have to ensure that the libidos of their dwarfs are well catered to.. I wouldn’t want to be near a 'closet' dwarf, given his reach would not be higher than.. you know..
Date: 15/4/4
* Paper paper everywhere! Leakages by the dozen. For once, I wish I was referring to the garbage repeatedly chucked out of the windows of houses, or the flooded streets due to a hole in the pipelines here.. Instead, this is a take on the academic endemic that has struck the country and its law abiding student population… question papers for prime examinations……a section of this population has become law-a-bidding, as question papers are being auctioned…. bought and sold, monies changing hands…
What caught my eye was that a question paper was leaked in Jammu.. a third year paper found itself in the hands of someone willing to part with it for money… but the authorities concerned don’t agree that this is a case of pilferage in their books! For anything to be considered a leak, it should cross the border, they said…;)
But li’l did they know that the in-house espionage king actually overheard that something important was floating around in the market; so he has picked it up and transported it across the border.. now they are grappling with some *RAW* data, the Pakis!
* The former personal assistant to David Beckham, who claims she slept with the England soccer captain, said that what she did was wrong but insisted she was telling the truth. Beckham has already dismissed as ludicrous claims from Rebecca Loos that she had sex with the 28-year-old midfielder in Madrid.
But Rebecca Loos insisted: "I am 100 percent sure of what I am talking about. There is no doubt in my mind. "People are calling me a liar and calling me names and, you know, at the end of the day these are the facts," she said. Loos, who lost her job as Beckham's assistant in Spain when he ditched her public relations company, said: "I was wrong, I was wrong to have done what I did. I know that.”
Well, all I can say is, though I haven’t seen Ms. Loos - not even a picture of her - I am pretty sure she is a blonde, peroxide or otherwise. I mean OF COURSE WHAT SHE DID WAS WRONG! And this is no indication of a blonde moment – this is a blonde lifetime achievement quote! But then, to give her the benefit of doubt, sometimes, press conferences are inhabited by members of ‘DUH Fourth Estate’, but that is the British press you spoke with, not the Yankee press!
Date: 13/4 and 14/4/4
* One more MJ case (Oh! Don't you just love him??) Police are investigating claims by an unidentified man that pop star Michael Jackson molested him in Los Angeles in the late 1980s, authorities said on Tuesday.
The probe comes as Jackson battles charges in central California that he molested a young boy seen in a controversial British television documentary, which was filmed partly at his Neverland Valley Ranch in Santa Barbara County
Now this is too much! Every other month, people realize, almost overnight that they had been molested by MJ, some time in the past. I think, to get to the bottom of this case, investigators must check whether MJ had organized any choreography coaching classes to teach kids his style of dance.. His constant groping and yanking are an integral part of his dance moves, people – just because he held your hand and made you do the same isn’t molestation…he was just trying to teach you some trademark moves!
* Among men suffering from schizophrenia, those who had used cannabis were much more likely to experience their first psychotic episode at an early age at, Dutch investigators report. The researchers looked at gender and cannabis use in 133 patients diagnosed with schizophrenia. Seventy patients were cannabis users and 97 patients were male.
Well that’s what cannabis does…makes you want more of it…and schizophrenia has the built in ‘function’ of multiple personalities..so that makes it justifiable to have as much cannabis as is needed by ‘each one’ of you… :P think again, researchers!
* Americans are increasingly susceptible to blindness as they grow older, with three out of 100 of those over 40 years old suffering impaired vision and blacks at particular risk, researchers said on Monday.
Can someone please find out how old Dubya, Ms. Rice and the whole Internal Security team were, when they were forewarned about 9/11….
One wonders why Dubya decided not to act on that intelligence report. Maybe he confused that kinda intelligence information with the insider information that SEC Ex-chairman Arthur Levitt clamped down on… Egad! Mr. Bush! That was meant to be only for the companies being traded in the stock markets! Oh the perils of not understanding Capitalism!
* Children with recurrent abdominal pain often have anxiety and depression, according to findings from a small study.
The children in the pain group were considerably more likely than the comparison group to have a psychiatric diagnosis, the investigators report in the journal Pediatrics. Of the 42 children with abdominal pain, 33 had an anxiety disorder and 18 had a depressive disorder.
Anxiety and depression… Of course! Imagine wantig ti have a burger and Papa dearest says “No Burger! You cry all night in pain if you eat one!”… Same answer for chocolates and other goodies.. Naturally the kid will be depressed and anxious, like, which salad for dinner tonight? So why does one need research to come to these logical conclusions?!?!?
Date: 12/4/4
* Some more dope on the Beckham saga, where he allegedly, rather not-so-sagaciously, had an affair with his assistant Ms. Rebecca Loos. Looks like the SMS bug bit him, since he used to ‘communicate’ (with an O, punintended..lol) with Ms. Loos via SMS too. But he is not the first sportsman to do so. Shane Warne’s text messaging a South African got him in trouble with his authorities, and Damien Martyn’s phone had some sweet nothings come to him from a 21-year old, once again a South African. So much for being celly-bate outside of his marriage? :P
But I think, if one compares Warne to Beckham, Warne is a bigger loser.. Beckham, being a footballer, put his quicksilver fingers to ‘good use’ on the cell-phone dial pad, which makes it a case of ‘optimal usage of untapped resources’ and in case of Warne, since he had arthritis of the fingers (an output of intense SMSing or spin bowling, doesn’t matter!) which would later affect his career, it was a case of mismanaging ‘opportunity cost’! Hmm if memory serves me right, around the same time, Warne had tried to hook up with a stripper from Melbourne! Well, of course – that act could have almost been a health advisory! “Save your fingers Shane”, a doctor must have said, “Leave the unbuttoning to the professionals!” :p
* The corporate world is swooping down on a new industry – Movies.. Bollywood.. Glamour…The Stars….
So, little wonder that the fundas of management have slowly started to apply to the hitherto unstructured world of Indian movies…. The first one is the 80-20 principle.. which usually states that 80% of the tasks are done in 20% of the time… and of course vice versa DUH!
The film Murder did 80% business in the first two weeks it ran… when the actress was properly clothed only 20% of the time in the movie… and to reinforce the 20% side of the deal – all the times she was on a derma-trip, only 20% of her was covered… so there, Management principles do work in movies..
Date: 8/4/4
* Supposedly, grapevine has it that Jackie Kennedy found sex with John F. Kennedy unsatisfying because "he just goes too fast and falls asleep," reports Sally Bedell Smith in May's Vanity Fair. Jackie's friend, Dr. Frank Finnerty, advised the First Lady that sex could be more enjoyable if JFK engaged in foreplay. "Nobody had ever talked to her this way," Finnerty tells Smith. After the piece of advice, the sex got better, but the president continued his womanizing.
The sex got better BUT the president continued…? Or should the word be ‘Because’? With JFK, one never knows, coz he didn’t have Norma(l) Jeane..oops Genes! By the way, Bill Clinton said that The US President’s job is so stressful that one can never blame the ex-President for going through those problems… Clinton, for one, practiced the art of being good in bed AT WORK.. no one can doubt his dedication towards Hillary, you see!
* The women of America will soon have their chance to be criticized, stylized and lionized by a team of fashionable gay men.
Cable television network Bravo on Wednesday said it will create a women's version of its smash hit series "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," in which a team of five gay men, the "Fab Five," show a heterosexual man how to dress, dine and design.
A Bravo spokesman said many of the details for "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" were yet to be worked out, including how many men would star on the show and whether or not the format would be exactly the same as "Straight Guy."
This is not for converting the Straight but Curious, Bi and (still) Curious etc…No Conversions here.. for that, tune in to some ‘divine’ channel with Evangelists flashing….their smiles on the screen!
Date: 7/4/4
* ABBA is back in the news – it’s been thirty years since they won the Eurovision song contest with ‘Waterloo’. Four years ago, ABBA was offered USD 1 billion to lure them into performing a reunion concert. They refused, and added that even if the figure was doubled, they won’t take the bait.
Interesting! In these days of money power, ABBA is not going for those billion dollars? Of course not! Unlike most bands that decide to reunite, none of the ABBA band members is on drugs, or in drug rehab, or in a divorce proceeding, or owes an alimony payment….So why would they need the money?
* Talking of Waterloo, and Beckham may be facing his own Waterloo. He is being accused of having an extra-marital affair with Rebecca Loos, his former personal assistant. His wife Victoria has pledged that she will stand by him through the tough times.
She will be by him at all times, EXCEPT when she is getting her make-up on, her pedicure and manicure done, being chased by the press, changing diapers on her baby…..Hmm did not know Beckham will be accused of having a Loos character (forgive the pun)!
* One more Al-Qaeda tape on an Islamist website, one more warning..No! wait! This is not just an ordinary warning! This is one more SIMILAR warning! Are these guys into reruns or what? Maybe they should hire some writers – would help the employment situation, given the frequency of these warnings! ;)
* Courtney Love of Hole...Jeff Tweed of Wilco...Kelly Osborne the solo songstress.... what do they have in common? Painkillers! No, That’s not the effect that their music has on my nerves…. But all three of them, in the past week, have confessed to or have been taken to rehab for use of painkillers! OD, not just use!
And that brings me back to the press! What was the press doing when they were buying painkillers and consuming them? Hidden cameras, investigative journalism, gossip columns work only when it’s about who kissed whom and who slapped whom at the last social engagement huh?
* Debbie Rowe, Michael Jackson's ex-wife, has a penchant for pink flamingos. TV cameras caught the mother of Whacko Jacko's kids at a Marina del Rey nursery picking out yet another pair of the white-trash totems, which keep getting stolen from her Beverly Hills home. Rowe loaded the plastic lawn ornaments into the back of her black Mercedes convertible and drove home where she promptly staked them in her front yard.
Yeah she did not like the Bob The Builders, and the Elmos and the Lego sets that MJ gave her! I mean not his fault – he was so used to picking up gifts for boys you know...
* Marisa Tomei, who was in Mumbai recently for performing in The Vagina Monologues, got caught in a gang warfare crossfire Sunday just outside a south central Los Angeles studio. As Tomei stepped out after the recording of a show, the incident occurred. As related by a Wireimage.com photographer: "I went out to have a cigarette. No sooner do I light it up do I hear five gunshots. I see Marisa running back from the valet station. Two security guards come running and telling everyone to go inside. Then there were more gunshots on the other side of the street." Tomei's parting words to the photographer were, "If I die and you get the exclusive, you better give the money to my family."
Cari Ross, a rep for Tomei confirmed that the incident actually happened! The host of the show for which she was recording said that to avoid gunshots in that bad neighborhood, stay at the party longer…. Hmm, better to die of cirrhosis than gunshot wounds huh?
* Jennifer Lopez's mother, a retired New York kindergarten teacher, scooped up a $2.4 million jackpot playing slot machines in Atlantic City.
Guadalupe Lopez, 58, hit it big off a $3 bet on a "Wheel of Fortune" slot machine at the swanky Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa on Saturday night, a representative of her singer/actress daughter confirmed on Tuesday.
This is more than what Jennifer Lopez’s albums earn.. and just for the record, this is the first piece of income in the Lopez household for years, that has come without involving hipsters and hot pants, booty shaking, rappers grinding with music in the background, interviews and public appearances…..
* Howard Stern is accusing Jay Leno of using canned laughs. "Jay, and I'm not sure for how long now, but for a while, is using a laugh track," Stern said on his show Friday. "I know it for a fact. They have to sweeten Jay's laughs 'cause his monologue's so g-damn lame." Stern's cheesesteak-loving sidekick Artie Lang chimed in, "Some times they make the mistake of shooting from behind Jay during his monologue so you see the crowd. And he just tells a joke . . . and the audience looks like it's watching a dramatic play or something.”
Well, Howard, even if he does use canned laughter… it is not more artificial than those “artificially enhanced” women on your show.. And sometimes when you guys shoot from behind your “subjects”, that’s a big n ugly mistake! so, same difference! ;)
* After in-flight entertainment, drinks and duty-free shopping, voting for your president in the air is all part of the service for Austria's national carrier Austrian Airlines Group. The airline will offer Austrian citizens the chance to vote while cruising at 900 kph as long as they have along a special card. "The voting procedure must take place outside Austrian airspace," Austrian said in a statement Tuesday. "Our stewards will happily serve as voting witnesses."
That’s a nice strategy for whichever government wants to hide its misdeeds during its term…. Altitude anyways makes one light headed…. And add to that the effect of a few drinks – and they may just succeed in converting some voters…But in respect of airspace, Indian voting systems are more advanced.. The planes are traceable by radar… but here, the ballot boxes disappear for days, and then reappear… Aren’t we rockers?
Date: 6/4/4
* Hip Hop Activism is the hippest thing (excuse the pun), now that this years US presidential election is fast approaching. Public Enemy, with Chuck D, Flavor Flav and Terminator X was one of the bands who made its presence felt in the past, with its brand of political activism. Political groups are using hip-hop to engage not just young people but all disenfranchised people of color, hoping their votes will unseat President Bush.
But this is in fact, an alert for the Democrats!! The rappers may end up actually helping the Republicans, simply because they use so much of George W’s last name and Cheneys’s first name in their lyrics!
* Staying with the topic of elections, President Bush promoted a new job training initiative on Monday aimed at cushioning the impact of manufacturing job losses in the United States, an issue Democrats have seized on as a major failure of the Bush administration. This was in North Carolina.
The President refuses to accept that there is a job crunch in the United States. In response to the allegations from Democrats, he showed a state recruitment ad from his home state of Texas, which said “Executioners with electric chair experience wanted!” :P
* Research shows that the more television children watch between the ages of 1 and 3, the greater their risk of having attention problems at age 7. Each hour of television that preschoolers watched per day increased the risk of attention problems such as attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder, by almost 10 percent later on.
The researchers haven’t yet realized that this is not the whole nine yards….during adulthood there is a reverse effect – you sit to watch cricket, and your better half gets an attack of ADD. She sits to watch some ‘K’ soaps, and there, you feel as neglected as cactus in the desert.
* More research… (anyone out here looking for a productive career – opt for research!) Only three percent of Britons are aware that being overweight or obese is a leading risk factor for cancer!
Most Britons know that putting on weight raises the odds of developing heart disease. But few knew about the link to cancer, although scientists estimate that about five percent of all cancers in women and three percent in men could be avoided if people were not overweight or obese.
The obesity- cancer link? Wazzat? We Brits know of the Victoria-David link, the Prince William-Kate Middleton link, the Charles-Bowles link..Thats all we need to know! Who really cares about the obesity-cancer link?
* A maverick South African opposition politician took a public HIV test Monday and urged President Thabo Mbeki to follow suit to encourage people to know their status in a country where one in nine has the virus.
"The reason I am taking the test is because we are 10 years behind from the rest of the world in terms of fighting the AIDS pandemic and are still in denial," Patricia De Lille was quoted by the domestic SAPA news agency as saying after the test at a Johannesburg hospital.
Politicians! Ready for AIDS tests..! But talk of public lie detector tests and they lie low.. punintended :P
Date: 4/4 and 5/4/4 (Double Whammy!)
• Financial investments… hmmm the IPO season cometh and the markets are abuzz with excitement. People who do not know what a red herring is, are still filling up share application forms, looking at everything but the fine print, caring zilch about risk profiles, applying based on predictions by analysts whose companies might also be having a department which is playing underwriter to the same issue.. Chinese walls phooey! The amount of money changing hands is not funny! Add to that the glitz and the glamour of it all.. and then comes the warning – investments are subject to market risk..
Now I know of some other places which have similar degrees of glitz and glamour, the same people involved, where lots of money changes hands in the matter of a night and places like these need a warning of such proportions desperately, what with the law clamping down on them – Dance Bars :P
• Muttiah Muralitharan was flown to Perth, soon after the home series against Australia, for a detailed series of tests to analyze whether his ‘doosra’ which turns the other way is delivered with a legal bowling action or not. First it was the complete package that was under suspicion and now, it’s the doosra. And its always the Aussies who have a problem with him… The test involved 12 high-speed cameras with 12 points in his body being connected by some thingummies. Those 12 points were to reveal whether everything that Muralitharan did was legal or otherwise…
We will have problems with Shoaib Akhtar and his action especially for his faster one lol… (well, as long as he is hit @ 4 runs per over, I won’t complain!!) but I would insist that they have, not 12 but, 13 cameras for Shoaib’s test as and when it happens. One camera dedicated to his finger and fingernails – just to see what all he does to the ball as he is in the middle of the spell! ;)
• Angelina Jolie wants to quit movies and become a pilot! A pilot that will fly relief planes to areas needing relief operations in terms of food, medicines…. Kudos, Angelina! So now, legally, there is a *bomb* on a relief plane :P This ain’t no lip service! This is for real!
• A big industry baron has decided to sign up as global sponsor to the International Hockey Foundation. Field hockey is finally getting its just desserts after a long, long wait! After all, at one time, we were world champions in the sport, that has lost out to cricket in terms of popularity. But why would this company go in for sponsoring hockey globally? What’s the motivation?
After all, the only connection I see between the company and the sport is that the seats in their planes are so cramped that they cause a similar ache in my back, like the one that plagued my lumbar region after I played hockey for 70 minutes!
* Sri Lanka is finally done with its general elections! At last, an end to so much uncertainty. President Chandrika Kumaratunga leads in the final count but she doesn’t have a complete majority. So hmmm now she should be very careful here. Essentially because she recently said that he had jeopardized national security by offering too much ground to the rebels….
So why should she worry? Because the term ‘National Security’ may just remind the PM of his meeting with George Bush late last year, and then, when it comes to Bush, Wickremasinghe may just be reminded of some other Bush keywords - ‘re-count’ or worse, ‘re-poll’! ;) So before the PM suggests something like that… you know what I mean!
* For any music fan, band names are always fascinating. Depeche Mode is French for ‘fast fashion’, whereas the band Anthrax got its name from a lesson in biology class when a band member was in school (Yes! They did go to school!) – At that point in time, no one really knew what it was all about (Surprises me how Al Gore did not take credit for inventing Anthrax, just like he claimed he invented the Internet! I’m sure he did have that thought before he knew what Anthrax can do…)
But one intriguing band-name is The Black-Eyed Peas (pictures above). Why would any band abroad name itself after ‘Chawli’, you know? Not that people abroad don't consume it, but their lyrics aren’t abt protein supplements and their music isn’t being used by Suzanne Sommers for her workouts! But then, I realized that their name had a fascinating pun. ‘Black Eyed’ is something related to violence, a shiner; ‘Peas’ sounds like peace. So there you go...
Date: 3/4/4
* Just yesterday, I heard a beauty pageant participant introduce herself, amongst the sounds of horses' hooves.. She told us that she wanted to make a career in Bollywood, which I admit, was very honest of her, since most models make a crossover into the film industry nowadays. She later on said that there was ‘a room for improvement’ when it concerns her on-stage and acting skills. Unless the ‘A’ there was a grammatical error, is this ‘a room for improvement’ an euphemism for, or a holistic way of saying ‘casting couch’ :P Ah the drama of gramma'!
* Must admit Robbie Williams is a great trier… he has tried before, to succeed in the USA as if that is the only country that matters where music is concerned. He also made LA his home and now, has changed his talent management company that manages his career in the US… just to find success in the USA?? I think the Pathfinder has a better chance of finding a human colony on Mars, than Robbie has a chance of finding success in the USA
* Michael Jackson was honored in Washington D.C. at a Gala hosted by the African Ambassadors' Spouses Association. The Association handed a smiling Jackson a golden elephant as an award for his support in fighting AIDS in Africa. "This is beautiful, this is a wonderful occasion. I thank everyone who came tonight and all of the women of Africa," he said.
Backstage, he was heard talking about how multiple partners are the biggest reason for the spread of HIV and how people should stick to one partner – maybe your first love, or a childhood sweetheart… But he refused to subscribe to the slogan ‘Catch ‘Em Young’.. I dunno why :P
Date: 2/4/4
* Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has ensured that no one gets drunk in his name! Governator Ale (picture above), a hot seller in the Cali markets, has been withdrawn at the behest of the Terminator, who threatened legal action with some help from his attorneggers. (nah! That’s not a case of uberbranding – I coined it!) The idea behind this is NOT because the hangover from drinking that ale lasts longer than his possible term as Guv, contrary to popular belief. But here is one drink that will never get to say “I’ll be back”!
By the way, I think Arnie should be more worried about his cigar habit. The White House and the cigar are connected, in more ways than one! No Mo’Nikaah’ Castrostrophes Please!
* Though there seems to be a logical and biological connection, I can never buy the argument that a Mindf*** is a necessity for having a Brainchild!
* People who are used to watching soaps, soppy, bubbly or otherwise, will agree with me that the best way to retain viewership is to infuse new twists and new characters into the storyline. The biggest challenge was how to replicate the same in the current fad, Reality TV. Ladies and gentlemen, Martha Stewart has done it! After the show that kept viewers busy, now, the court case has so many twists and turns that I can’t help but doff my hat to her. Now a juror who convicted her has been found to have a shady past! Even under stress and duress, she has managed to keep the innovation and change flag burning…
* Britain’s royal family is miffed with the media for having splashed pictures of Prince William with his *first serious girlfriend*. Why are they so angry? Because there was a media deal not to invade his privacy…now waitaminit! A media deal with the British press? That’s like telling the Mafia to use rubber bullets and marshmallows in their trade!
* Gray's Anatomy is back (no punnections to anything lumbar or lordotic) with a bang! After the V Monologues and the P Dialogues, I see a surge in an emotional connect with body parts amongst pen wielders. Reams will be written on The Wise-crack Shoots From The Hip, The Call of the Colic, Duodenum Under a Pseudonym, A Humerus Chip On The Shoulder And Other Short Stories. And I shudder to imagine what improved and future editions will be called …Implants!?!?! How about a play straight from the heart… The Angina Monologues?
* This is an anecdote about the great Sachin Tendulkar and this is for real! All this talk about whether or not the captain should have declared before SRT got his double ton triggered a walk down memory lane to the very first innings that propelled SRT and his partner-in-crime Vinod Kambli to fame. Shardashram English (where SRT and VK were students) was playing St. Xaviers and the duo was all hammer and tongs, out in the middle. They had added more than 500 runs and the coach assisting the head trainer Ramakant Achrekar got a message from the latter, indicating that he should declare the innings… but SRT and VK never looked in the direction of the coach who was calling, frantically waving his hands to catch their attention… they stayed on the field and batted until the St. Xaviers bowling attack was reduced to tears (Hmm Hobsons choice - whether to throw in the towel or to use it to wipe off the tears? :) )
Too bad SRT could not use the same tactic at Lahore…
The Daily Beep
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A Collection Of Absolutely Randomized Nonsensical Derivations From The Current News Spectrum...
* I heard that Michael Jackson, the truly devoted brother that he is, is looking for revenge for what Justin Timberlake did to his sister janet. He was found enquiring whether Justin indeed had a kid brother...
* The local lad I discuss cricket with, came up with a great connect between Imran Khan's verbal volleys against Sachin and Shoaib Akhtar's 'faster one' to Tiny Ten... he said in local lingo 'Boss, dono fenk rahe hai!' (fenkna [verb, Hindi] - to throw; slang - to lie)
* While on cricket, Rashid Latif, the ex-Paki 'keeper was of the opinion that one of the captains in this mega series will lose his job by the end of it, depending on who won and who lost. It's good that way! At last someone in cricket is losing his job for cricketing reasons, and not because of his connections with bookies, or sending obscene sms' or for that matter, testing whether the opposing players knew their French.
* Looking at what happened at the Miss India pageant, I must say that India is still too far away from the West. Wannabes, eat your heart out! What seems to be the problem is not a problem at all, as far as I am concerned - the girl is already married and is in a state of 'holy matrimony', whereas, in the West, there are transvestites whose pageant titles are taken away because they tried to pass off as women. Also, try finding out why Vanessa Williams, that famous African-American singer was 'stripped' of her Miss America title and you will know what I mean..
And times surely are-a-changing...Gone are the days when families got their sons married for an apartment in dowry :P Now, one gets married even to rent a flat!
* The Isleta Casino Resort in Alberquerque, New Mexico has pulled off air, a controversial TV campaign which was promoting gambling as a financial solution to people who are short on cash or deeply in debt.
Such a campaign will never work in India even if casinos were legalized. But maybe in the USA, it was pulled off because it may actually work.. ;)
* A grand jury heard testimony on Monday in the child molestation case against pop star Michael Jackson, though few details were disclosed and even its location was a closely guarded secret.
This is, I think, following a special request by Jackson that he be treated just the way he treated his innocent victims - in secrecy, until the press lays their hands on a scoop and creates a stir. BTW, the testimony is supposed to last weeks and will also investigate whether 'nose jobs' were the only kind of jobs Jackson spent money on...
* For people who think that Love can do things that Money can't - think again! Simon Fields, Jennifer Lopez's business partner did what Ben Affleck couldn't (or maybe he just didn't care?)... Fields is responsible for Lopez opting to portray a kinder, gentler, more human image in public, a source said. "There have been no high-diva demands," the source continued. "There will be no more absurd requests for white lilies in her rooms, 600-thread-count sheets in her hotel rooms or anything like that. She really is just a normal girl."
Yes!!!! Whatever she was on, the supply seems to have stopped..No more afflecktions, I think!
